The No Pants Dance
I have two children. They are six and four. For the past year I have had a bag of clothes available in the trunk of the car, but I don’t carry a diaper bag. I figure at this point I shouldn’t have to. My blog is about having a life even though I am a mom so this shouldn’t shock any of you. (And just as an aside I highly encourage you to leave home without a diaper bag once your kids are out of diapers…it truly is exhilarating).
So yesterday we went to the Children’s ‘Useum (also known as a museum). I grabbed a Verdeyen group backpack to store our jackets and to garner some free advertising while meandering around the cavernous building, but as I never carry a diaper bag I didn’t worry about taking anything in the bag (except some Wendy’s because food at the museum is outrageous!)
That aside we had quite the adventure where the kids were able to touch models of fossilized dinosaur teeth, stroll through Ryan White’s bedroom and read the hateful notes put on his locker (eye opening moment for Olivia).
While moving to the Ruby Bridges display Joe realized that he had to potty. It was hard for me to move on since Olivia really was having an eye opening experience in the display. She was reading everything and asking a lot of questions. Really it was a teacher’s dream for their child to be so engaged. But alas we made a mad dash for the potty because peeing on the carpet didn’t seem like a worthy option despite the learning that was taking place.
We made it after a few minutes of searching and I was grateful for no wait. I wiped down the seat, put Joe in the stall, and closed the door. He is four after all so there really is no need for me to stand in the stall with him. He, however, insisted on locking the door. Me holding the top just wasn’t sufficient. He tried four times with no success. After the fourth time I opened the door, made it understood that he was to potty and stop messing with the lock or an accident would occur and he reluctantly sat on the potty while still on the edge of the seat trying to get one more try.
As I peeked in I could see he was not in position for this to go well and when it was all said and done…the door never got locked and Joe peed all over his jeans. Thank the Lord that his underwear were spared.
So now I have a half naked four year old, no extra clothes and it is a comfortable 24 degrees outside. So as a mommy McGuyver I felt as though I totally had this under control. I wrapped Joe’s fleece jacket around his waist and zipped it up. I put his shoes and socks back on and we were off to the car. It basically looked like I had allowed my child to wear shorts in January, but hey I am not going to win any parenting contest when judged on conventional ideals anyway, so whatever.
The best part? The looks of disdain from suburban moms that seemed to disapprove of our current status. The funniest part was that they were weighted down with bags and strollers and all kinds of drama. I tried my best not to look smug as my two children and miniscule backpack maneuvered easily through the museum without pants.
Needless to say the extra clothes were in the other car and so Joe had to go all the way home with no pants, but with an extra coat over his legs in the car. The moral of the story, even with the early museum exit I still win by not being encumbered by extra stuff that I might use once a year. So put that in your perfect mommy pipe and smoke it…