So I am pretty certain that the past few months have been amongst the most challenging in our family history. There have been a lot of changes in our daily lives; but also I have changed so very much. I have learned to spend quiet time each day praying and preparing for my day. I would like to think I am bit slower to anger and a bit quicker to show compassion. I have reflected on many things in my life and made some changes in the department of needs versus wants. I have learned to live in less space with fewer things and to be content.
There are days when everything is fine and I am both content and peaceful. There are days when I think that I cannot live one more day in this space. But here are some of the things I wouldn’t trade for the world.
We have spent a great deal of time together laughing, crying and coping. Creating normal with less space and less stuff. And it is great. We don’t have complex issues because there isn’t anything to get complex about. We don’t have to worry about anyone invading anyone else’s room because there is only one. We go to bed at the same time, we all get ready together in the morning. We eat dinner together and talk about our days even though we haven’t had a kitchen table since August.
I have learned so many valuable lessons here that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Sometimes I wonder how much better our lives would be and/or how much more fully we could live. I am almost (note I said almost) sad about moving into a home where I can’t sit up and check on the kids at night; or where the kids could be playing without me being able to overhear the interesting conversations that their toys are having. Won’t it be sad to watch them forget how full our lives were here as we move back towards the “American dream”.
And why do they call it living with less when I feel like for once I am living with more? And why is it that so often the American dream leads to nightmares? I know one thing for sure, I won’t leave here the same. And I will spend the rest of my life appreciating the sweet gifts I have received from the Turnverein.
May you be ever mindful of what is truly important this Christmas season, and spend time making memories and sharing love with those who will remember it for a lifetime. While avoiding cheapening it with more things that will be all too soon forgotten.